Friends in the Audition Lobby




Ah, it’s that day when you have prepped hard for a role, you love it and really want it badly, and you step into the room and… your good friend is sitting in the lobby waiting to also audition.

Dang it.

You smile at your friend, but you’re racing inside with new concerns that suddenly trump your focus on the acting.

Is he going to book it? I deserve this too. She’s a good actor. She works more than I do, so she’ll get it. 

Then the next onslaught of inner dialogue starts up.

I feel guilty because I want my moment. I’m wondering if I’m being selfish. Jealous. Competitive. Too negative. Jaded or bitter.

Now. You start to feel less certain. The inner battle rages and by the time you walk into the audition room you have shrunk in confidence and have lost your “I got this” focus.

Does this sound familiar to any of my actor friends? 


How do you handle when you see your friends in the audition lobby?

Here’s the good news!

Everyone is going through this on some level.  You’re not alone. This is really a common downward spiral for anyone sitting in an audition lobby, with friends nearby or not.

It’s not not going to happen at some point. Of course you will run into a friend in an audition lobby! Or, an actor you really respect. So, it’s important to become aware of your reactions and observe how it might be subconsciously contributing to a bit of self-sabotage for your audition.

Let’s reverse this self-sabotage!

Here is where I suggest you start.


#1 Recognize that you are in community with your peers. 

I’m a big advocate for being in community with your peers, as you may know, and I truly think caring about your colleague is one way through this kind of potentially mucky situation.

They say, if it’s not you getting hired, then it’s great if it’s your friend.

As challenging as it can be deep down inside in your darkest moments of jealousy, this is really true.


The more your friends succeed, the more you do too.

As I grow older and keep hanging in this biz, there are certain things that get easier in my own career because of my friends’ successes. They can potentially open doors for you that would have been difficult or impossible, for example. And a successful friend always has solid advice for you based on his/her own experiences.

Play the long game in this business.

Support each other now, and then in the long term it’s going to pay off beautifully. You’ll be very appreciative of each other – in good and bad times.  And one will lift the other up.





When you run into your friend:

  • Give your friend a fist bump or high five.
  • Switch your approach from “winning the role” to “how can I contribute to this role, or serve the story?
  • In the lobby, focus on the work and get in your private zone with a headset and music that serves your energy or character.
  • Here’s a radical idea! Go out for a bite with your friend after the audition and share about the business – because chances are that if you’re at the same audition(s), you have a lot in common about your journey. Share together, it makes you each feel less alone in this crazy and alone biz.
  • Before you go to sleep, wish yourself and your friend much success.


Let’s all work to make this business HUMAN.


  1. Jordan rich says

    Love the realistic but positive nature of this thought. It isn’t you vs me. It’s who can serve the function a CD or story needs most closet which is out of our hands

  2. Jessica Lindsay says

    I’m definitely going through a similar situation right now!

    I have an open ended sub contract at an amazing show. I love it when I’m there, but unfortunately, due to operational need, they don’t need subs that often. I can go months without getting a shift.

    One of my friends, and now roommate, just got a callback for the same role. I want her to succeed and book jobs, but I’m imagining how awkward it will be for us both to be living under the same roof, vying for hours.

    I honestly wouldn’t even be bothered if they really NEEDED subs, but they just…don’t. I’m lucky to get a few shifts a month.

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